Hello sister,
and welcome back to this sacred space where every Friday we will be providing valuable content, and you don't know how happy I am to have you here and for you to access this valuable information.
This week I bring you a topic that holds a lot of value for me and even makes me feel a bit vulnerable.
A few days ago, I was reminiscing about the first half of my twenties and the moment I started hearing about female empowerment and the importance of women reclaiming their sexuality. There was talk of sexual freedom, but this freedom seemed more like an imitation of others' behaviors, which ended up backfiring for most women.
I heard stories of women who, in their attempt to reclaim their sexuality, ended up sleeping with anyone, faking orgasms, or having short, empty, and hurried orgasms. And I was one of them. In that quest to reclaim my sexuality, I ended up using my body and others' bodies, and closing my heart so no one could hurt me in this process of libertinism.
I share this because, at that time, I was taught that reclaiming the power of sexuality had to do with a more pornographic approach to sex. Until I realized that it didn't really fulfill me. And that was when I discovered my first vibrator. At that time, it seemed like the perfect solution. Since the vibrator was not a person, I didn't have to deal with the feeling of using or being used, the risks, and the fear of intimacy that I used to have at that time.
The truth is that the vibrator was the best option to avoid all that.
And little by little, I started to realize how I needed more and more intensity. There was a certain desperation to reach orgasm, and it had already started to become an addiction. I grabbed my vibrator 2 or 3 times a day, and above all, I couldn't fall asleep without having masturbated.
The ease and speed with which I could reach orgasm with the vibrator made me dependent on it.
The next time I connected with someone after several months of vibrator use, I noticed how my desperation reflected in wanting the man I was with to turn into a vibrating machine. I think he felt so pressured by my exasperation that he ended up having a very bad time, with a cramped tongue and in a bad mood because he hadn't enjoyed it at all, trying to go as fast as I asked him. And at the end of the day, I hadn't had that orgasm I was looking for so much. The disconnection from my body, coupled with the desperation for orgasm, and that the only thing that mattered was reaching the orgasm, made the experience horrible for both of us.
That experience made me reflect on the true meaning of intimacy and pleasure. I realized that I didn't want my sexual experiences to be with that sense of rush, of wanting to reach something quickly, which was mostly what I constantly complained about with the men I connected with.
Since then, as you well know, I have explored more conscious and sacred forms of self-pleasure and intimate connection, and my orgasmic potential has grown so much that now I can enjoy sexuality with or without orgasms... and by taking the focus off the orgasms, I started having them for up to 20 minutes!!
I share this story to open up about why at Yoni Samsara we do not promote the use of vibrators.
So let's delve into the six reasons why you should put your vibrator aside:
1. Limits Your Orgasmic Potential
As we already mentioned, using a vibrator is generally utilized as an immediate discharge of pleasure and dopamine.
Let's say vibrators are like microwave fast food; and you, my queen, deserve the five-star restaurant with the most exquisite food that exists.
Why do I say the vibrator is like fast food? Because we generally use it in a very mechanical way: we take it out of the drawer, position it directly on the clitoris, activate it until we reach a quick and empty orgasm, and then we fall asleep. This is the experience of many women.
What happens when you do this continuously? Your body gets used to small, quick satisfactions that last very little time and leave you feeling bad afterward, like a McDonald's hamburger.
Furthermore, when you use a vibrator and only focus on your clitoris, you are leaving out all the other parts of your body that can provide incredible orgasms and an unimaginable amount of pleasure. The true sexual empowerment of women lies in discovering and opening up to connect with all the orgasmic potential that your body can give you.
I invite you, the next time you decide to have a moment of connection with yourself and masturbate, to go slower. Take the time to caress your whole body, have a moment of real connection with yourself, instead of just focusing on reaching that quick orgasm to go to sleep.
Stay tuned to this blog because in the coming weeks I will be sharing various forms and rituals that you can implement in your life for your self-pleasure practices.
2. Desensitization
Hand in hand with what we just said is what I shared with you at the beginning of this article: the fact that with vibration, the skin and nerve endings become desensitized. This, instead of giving you more pleasure, gives you less and less each time. Additionally, as most vibrators focus only on the clitoris or the first part of the vagina, you never stimulate all the other juicy parts of your sexual being, such as your breasts, nipples, cervix, vulva, and all the erogenous zones that exist on your body.
The intense and repetitive vibration can make the nerve endings less sensitive over time. This means you will need increasingly stronger stimulation to reach the same level of pleasure, leading to a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction and frustration.
3. Ruins Your Relationship Dynamics
The constant use of vibrators, whether alone or with a partner, leads to complexities in the relationship with another person that can cause many frictions and tensions with sexual partners. Let's see why.
Let's assume, and I know this is not the case for all women, but it is for most, that the fact you are using a vibrator so frequently means you don't know your body in depth. Vibrators are constantly used because you probably haven't discovered the sacred form of self-pleasure rituals and, therefore, haven't discovered your body in its entirety.
If you don't know your body, how is someone else going to know it and know how to touch it if you don't even know how? Additionally, as I shared at the beginning, this generates impossible expectations for our sexual partners, because no tongue and no penis can reach that level of vibration intensity. Therefore, if you only get used to reaching orgasm through that intensity, it will be very difficult for a sexual partner to satisfy you.
The pressure to reach the same level of stimulation provided by a vibrator can generate stress and anxiety in your partner, negatively affecting intimacy and emotional connection. It is essential to remember that sex is an experience that goes beyond the orgasm, and the emotional and physical connection with your partner or yourself, and being present in the moment, is essential for a healthy and satisfying sex life.
4. You Lose the Benefits of the Orgasm
In one of the previous articles, we talked a lot and in-depth about the BENEFITS OF THE ORGASM (if you missed it, click on the title to see that post). There I explain all the chemicals and hormones that are released thanks to the orgasm, and not just the orgasm, but the whole journey to it. With vibrators, you miss out on all the warming up and foreplay, the touches, the softness, and the excitement. Let's be honest, you don't need to be really excited to have a clitoral orgasm with a vibrator, right? And so you miss out on all those chemicals that are released through the rise of excitement.
The process of excitement is crucial for a complete and satisfying sexual experience. During this time, your body produces hormones like oxytocin and serotonin, which promote feelings of happiness, connection, and well-being. By skipping this process with the use of vibrators, you deprive yourself of these emotional and physical benefits.
5. Inadequate Materials for Your Yoni
The materials used in the vibrators we usually find in stores are not safe for your female intimate health. Our yoni is extremely delicate, and its pH balance is very fragile. Therefore, not just any toy should enter your sacred temple. Your yoni deserves the best; you deserve the best.
Many vibrators are made of plastics and other synthetic materials that can release harmful chemicals, such as phthalates and BPA. These toxins can alter the pH balance of your yoni, causing irritations, infections, and other long-term health problems. If you research a bit more, you will find several studies on the internet indicating that the materials used for sex toys can contain toxins that have a significant impact on your intimate health in the long run.
6. Your Self-Pleasure Practice is Your Gateway to the Divine
When you understand that your sexuality and your relationship with your body are a direct connection to the divine – whether it is God, the universe, the great spirit, or whatever you prefer to call it – you start to see your self-pleasure practice in a completely new light. This sacred moment is an opportunity to honor and celebrate your deepest self.
It doesn't matter if you decide to do it once a day, once a week, or once a month, what matters is that you do it with the intention of exploring and recognizing the sacred potential of this act. By taking this time for yourself, you allow yourself to direct your sexual and creative energy towards the manifestation of your deepest and most authentic desires.
When you understand this, you won't want your self-pleasure practice to last just a few minutes. You will want to expand it as much as possible to truly enjoy and take advantage of this sacred moment. You will learn that connecting with your body and this act of self-pleasure can be one of the deepest forms of meditation and connection with your higher self that exists.
And Now What?
Here I want to leave you with alternatives that are worthy of the goddess you are. Our pleasure wands are made with 100% natural materials, handcrafted. Each one is a unique work of art in the world, as they are hand-carved and designed to bring you back home, to restore sensitivity in your sacred temple, and to help you expand your orgasmic potential to experience orgasms lasting minutes or even hours.
If you are just starting your journey and want to leave your vibrator behind and get inspired by the art of self-pleasure, there is no better companion than our **STRAIGHT ROSE QUARTZ WAND**.
The straight wand is ideal for reawakening sensations inside your vagina, to massage and reactivate tissue that may have been damaged by vibrator use. It is perfect for vaginal decongestion practices and for activating our pelvic floor.
Moreover, rose quartz is an enhancer of self-love, sensuality, and femininity, making it the ideal companion to start giving ourselves love in a different, deeper, sacred, and ritualistic way.
**HERE** you can find the straight rose quartz pleasure wand with all its benefits and qualities. Additionally, as a reader of this blog, I want to gift you a 20% discount on our rose quartz wand.
Use the code SACRED20 when making your purchase to receive your discount.
Discount valid from 31.05 to 07.06 of 2024.
Until next Friday, sister, thank you for being here!